Is there really time to rest?

Life can get busy. Really busy. We all get overwhelmed and caught up in what we are doing, or what we "have" to do. I know I do. My "To Do" list and agenda stay full. I always think that when I check off one of my tasks I will feel better. I think that maybe it will free up some time for me to just relax. Unfortunately, that is not the case. When one task is checked off I have already added two more. The list always grows. I try to delegate certain tasks and attempt to organize my time better, but it doesn't always work. By the time I go to bed and try to unwind I think of ten other things I should be doing.

 

My sleep schedule has been quite messed up lately. Between work, projects, kids, a husband, being a care taker for my grandmother, and everything else I don't really have a decent "bedtime". I tend to get sleep when I can. I miss normal sleep! I miss being able to crawl in my cozy bed and relax, unwind, clear my mind, and drift off to sleep. I can't even remember the last time that happened. 

If you have read my other posts then you will have seen I suffer from severe panic and anxiety disorder. Can you guess what makes that worse?? Lack of sleep! Sleep and rest are so important and we tend to neglect it.

Hebrews 4: 9-10 says "There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God;for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. " So why aren't we resting? Why don't we take time to refresh our minds and rest our bodies? Why do we feel the need to always be on the go?

I fell asleep on the couch last night at around midnight. I woke up at 4:00am thinking that there was so much that needed to be done. The laundry needs to get finished (is it ever really finished), the litter box needs to be cleaned, the bathroom needs to be cleaned...you get the picture. I started the laundry, cleaned the litter, and decided that it was time to sit down. I needed to think about what was going on. I needed time to sit and reflect.

When I started this blog I intended on working on it more than I do my other blog (you can find that here). I haven't had time to work on either one! I try to schedule time, but that doesn't always work. Sometimes life gets overwhelming.

Matthew 11: 28-29says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. " The Lord doesn't want us to feel burdened or overwhelmed. He doesn't want us to fret and feel that there is no time. He wants us to turn to Him. If we are so focused on everything else around us we cant turn our eyes to Him. In order to serve Him we need to rest and we need to let go of the stress!

I know for some of us it is hard to say we are just going to "let go" and "give in". We don't see how we can just stop our day to day tasks and switch our focus. I'm not telling you to quit everything and be lazy! I'm saying that we need to set aside time (schedule it if you have to) every day to rest, recover, and spend time praying! We need to let go and let God! Yes, life is stressful, but we don't have to do it alone! God is there to guide us through.

I'm going to be working on several posts about scheduling and organization on my other blog, but I plan to incorporate that in this blog as well. Being organized is great, but when our minds stay scattered nothing will ever go as planned! We need to set our focus on what is truly important and stop worrying about life's little day to day issues. There is a bigger picture. Isaiah 26:3 reminds us "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

So let go and let God take over! Give Him your worries and let go of things that you can't control. Certain things can wait! Now go get some rest!!

Love and Hugs,

Brandi

When Things Don't Go Your Way

Today has been one of those days. I wanted to throw up my hands yelling and screaming. I didn't, but I wanted to. Today has taught me to "deal with it" when I don't get my way , and to handle things when I don't have control.

First let me say that this has nothing to do with normal day to day frustrations. This isn't about me not getting to pick a movie or where we ate dinner. This was much more. I wanted to control the outcome of something that was much more important, but I had to give in.

My grandmother suffers from dementia. She has had several other medical problems recently and even though her health is declining her will power is not. She is as stubborn as ever. I am beginning to think she is more so now than ever.

My mother, son, grandmother, and myself took a short drive today. We drove though old neighborhoods and talked about our wonderful memories. On the way home my grandmother grabbed her chest and told us she couldn't breathe. She said she felt that she was having a heart attack. We pulled up in the driveway as I dialed 911. They arrived within minutes. The monitors showed that she didn\t have a heart attack, but that she did have blockage. They told her she needed to be taken to the hospital asap. She refused to let them take her.

I wanted them to pick her up and take her anyway, but that is not an option. They told her that if they didn't take her that she needed to let us take her because this needs to be monitored. Guess what...she said No! I could still scream. I could yell. I could fling myself in the floor and throw a tantrum. Do you know what that would do? Not one thing. I wouldn't get anywhere except making myself look like a complete idiot. I tend to do that at times (make myself look like an idiot) but it is usually because of the random way I do things. This is important, so why wont she listen?

I cried, but that didn't help either. I didn't cry because I thought it would help, I cried because I'm hurt. I want so badly to help her, but she wont let us. Every day she seems to get worse and every day i hear her say how badly she wants to leave this earth and see my grandfather again. I know she hurts and I know she is tired of this pain and confusion. She cant give up though! I want to fight this for her. I cant though. It is out of my control.

I wont say that I have "given up" on getting her to the hospital eventually, but me nagging her wont do any good so I prayed. I prayed that the Lord would help this situation and take away the pain she was feeling. That He would give us peace and that we could somehow be at ease. Its never easy to watch someone you love hurt and get to a point that you know it wont get better.

Psalm 46:10 says "Be still and know that I am God." Today I had to be still. I had to stop. I had to step back and know that I cannot control everything and i definitely cant control the choices of my 85 year old grandmother even though i wanted to. I only wanted to do what i thought was  best for her. So today I was still. I sat with her and watched her. I talked to her and I listened. Today we were both still.

If you read Exodus 14:14 you will again be reminded "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. So here we are more than six hours later sitting here continuing to pray. I know that God has got this covered. I know that He has a plan and it is far better than mine. I know that I cannot control everything but He can, and I am reminded that when I am lost and confused I need only to be still.

I don't know what tomorrow will hold ,but i do know that i shouldn't worry. The Bible reminds me in Mark  5:36 "Don't be afraid, just believe." I do believe. I believe He is watching over all of us and that He has this under control. I am also reminded of his unfailing love and strength in Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Whatever tomorrow brings He will be there to guide us through. 

So today through gritted teeth I gave in and gave up. I gave up the need to have control and let go. Not because I didn't want to fight, but because I know that Gods got this! 

Love and Hugs,

Brandi