Sometimes we lose sight of the big picture. We see things a certain way and want what we want. Sometimes we don't even give it a second thought. We just do whatever it is we want to do and then when things don't go as planned we wonder why.
Over the past year a lot has changed for me. I still struggle and I still have my faults, but I know that I want to follow Gods path for my family. I also know that His path may not always be the easy path, but I chose to follow it regardless.
I have been praying to know Gods will for several situations in my life. One of those has unfolded over the past few months. I prayed and prayed about this situation and thought I had an answer. I did what I thought I was supposed to do and trusted that no matter what the outcome He would guide us through, and He has!
We lost my grandmother 8 months ago tomorrow. That was not easy. I still hurt, I still cry, and I still want to reach out and hug her or talk to her. I didn't want to let go. I wasn't ready to let go.I can't say that I want to even now.
The house that my grandmother lived in has been in our family for over 60 years. This house was always "home" to me. I always loved coming here and being with my grandma. It has always been this special "safe" place we all love.
I prayed for direction about buying her house. Everything fell in place and we moved in a good bit of our stuff. I will admit that most of our things stayed in boxes though. Even after a month I just couldn't unpack anything. I couldn't really just unbox my stuff and fully move in. Something felt "off".
I prayed for direction and while I felt so unsure about what to do I trusted God. I trusted that He knew what was best for our family. We went to the bank to get a home loan and the process would take longer then we could wait for. We needed to have the funds right away and that wasn't going to happen. My grandmas house was slipping through my fingers.
I felt confused after that. I felt like I may not have been listening to God or that I missed something. Did I do something wrong? What am I doing? Why isn't this working? I may not have all the answers, but I know that God is still leading the way.
I sit here now (in my grandmothers kitchen) writing this and I know that God has huge plans for us. We aren't going to buy the house, in fact, we are moving everything out next week. We are letting go. I am letting go. I know this is what is best though. This is the plan God has for us.
I know God used this situation to help bring closure to a lot of different situations. It allowed us to spend some time here and to process everything. We took care of several other things that also needed to be handled, that would have been almost impossible otherwise. It definitely helped us reevaluate a lot of different things.
God is using this situation to grow our family spiritually. He is using it to bring us closer together and above all closer to him. It isn't about the houses we live in or the things we have, it's about our family, the love we share. This world is our temporary home and we are only here to prepare for our eternal home with our heavenly Father.
God uses every situation no matter how small or big to change us. It's time to let go and move forward. I'm ready to see where He leads us!
Love and Hugs!
Brandi J Follow my blog with Bloglovin